Writing Style

Articles on writing style focusing on style. Find articles on sentence structure, narration, diction, voice, tone and point of view.

February 18 2022

3 Qualities of Great Writing

Aspiring Writer, On Writing, Writing Style

The 3 qualities of great writing are: clarity, correctness and character. Developing your unique style requires mastery of the rules of grammar and knowledge of the relationship words have to one another. From the start, we learn grammar without understanding when our parents speak to us. Later, through formal training and reading, we come to understand grammar. Even so, it’s possible not to write your best work.

The three Qualities of Great Writing

In order to speak and write the English language correctly, it is imperative that the fundamental principles of the Grammar be mastered, for no matter how much we may read of the best authors, no matter how much we may associate with and imitate the best speakers, if we do not know the underlying principles of the correct formation of sentences and the relation of words to one another, we will be to a great extent like the parrot, that merely repeats what it hears without understanding the import of what is said. – Joseph Delvin

Let’s heed the words of Delvin. In great writing, writers strive for clarity, correctness and character. These three qualities are rooted in the principles of grammar, but adherence to these ideals mustn’t happen at the expense of originality or great writing.

Making it Clear

Clarity is one of the key qualities of great writing. Clear writing does not confuse or cause misunderstanding. There are a few ways to achieve the goal of clarity. First, avoid ambiguous words or words with double meanings. Expand your vocabulary to arm yourself with an array of words. Doing so will give you the tools you need to make the best word choices. Second, let your words dance but don’t overdress them. Some writers may rely too heavily on big words, metaphors or rhetoric to make a point. Don’t do it. Finally, make simple your first choice. That doesn’t mean you should never show the power of your vocabulary or make your ideas vivid with similes or metaphors. It means, using the rules of language to write clear sentences that have proper structure, sound and syntax.

Write Your Best Work – Correctness

Correctness refers to quality writing. Writing that moves past getting things grammatically correct. It requires exacting expression, free from redundancy and tautology, a style unique to the writer, yet full of meaning. Most ideas of correctness seek to codify ‘good’ English, but that’s not the whole of it. Correctness allows freedom too. A freedom to paint with words, freedom to break the rules. Most of all, a freedom to say things in the best way to achieve the desired outcome while at the same time maintaining clarity. Without a doubt, correctness can only be somewhat separate from the rules of grammar. That’s because before you can find your unique voice, break barriers, twist or bend the rules you must know and understand those rules at the start.

3 Qualities of Great Writing-Correctness

Great Writing has Integrity

Character is the last but not least of the three qualities of great writing. It reflects on the integrity of the work. Quality writing avoids the use of slang, vulgarity, profanity, obsolete terms, foreign idioms, ambiguous expressions or any ungrammatical language unless it advances the story. For example, writing about specific cultures or in a style to reflect who or what your characters do and how they talk is perfectly acceptable. However, please note the use of vulgarity or profanity is likely off-putting to some readers. For me, I avoid it. Yet, some might find the need to use these tools to represent the reality of the time, place or situations they write about. In those cases, it’s likely worse to avoid it. Even so, I’ve read books where the use of profanity has caused me to stop reading. I’m no saint and I can swear like a sailor, but I find it off putting when used carelessly in the books I read. Ultimately, great writing finds a way to say what’s needed without offending its targeted readers.

These 3 Qualities of Great Writing come from How to Speak and Write Correctly, by Joseph Devlin. My version is updated for modern times and in some ways, contradicts the original text. For example, Delvin advises to never use profanity or slang. He is also in the grammar correctness camp. I’m not. On these points, I disagree with him.

Some of the best writing uses slang or break rules of grammar. The most important rule is to know the rules of grammar. When you do, you own your words and have the power to wield them.

For more on writing rules see 10 Writing Style Rules Every Writer Should Know.

January 5 2022

Point of View: Riding the POV

Aspiring Writer, On Writing, Writing Style

Every story has a point of view (POV). What does it mean? It means, the author has to have a strategy that lets the reader know whose story it is at every turn. From the opening lines to the last words an author must ride the POV.

The Point Of View

A POV fixes the story viewpoint at the start. More often than not, it means we get to know what at least one of the characters thinks or feels. When writers do POV right, they put the readers into the head of one or more character or if desired, keep them out. Whatever the choice, writers must stick to the POV plan from start to finish. Remember, unsuspected POV shifts upset readers. Don’t do it.

Whenever I start a new story, my first inclination is to use third person limited. It’s my favorite POV. No matter where I end up, first person, or a form of third person, I push myself to ride the POV.

What is Riding the POV?

Riding the POV means no deviations from the intended story perspective. Your story must answer four questions:

Who is speaking?
Who is seeing the story action?
Is it possible to get into the characters head?
What is the narrative distance?

Shaping these four questions into a successful piece of fiction requires the writer to think through the direction of their story. Once you make these decisions, the next step is to jump into it. Just ride the POV.

Know the Speaker

In first person, your character narrates the story giving a first-hand account of the action. When you use first person, the narrator knows everything about themselves. They are also able to share what they see, hear, feel and think. Outside of their own experience they are mere observers. First person characters can guess at, wonder about or fear what another character knows, thinks or feels, but they can’t pop into other heads to say how another character feels. For example, take these accounts from a character:

I saw the man come inside holding a gun and my heart skipped a beat. He was thinking about killing me. (the narrator can’t know what the man was thinking)

I saw the man come inside holding a gun and my heart skipped a beat. I knew I was dead.

(Here the narrator sticks to their own thoughts and feelings)

I saw the man come inside holding a gun and my heart skipped a beat. He looked straight at me, seeming angry and steamed up. I just knew I was dead.

(This works because the narrator makes an assumption based on observation without entering the character’s head.)

No matter which form of first person you choose, the same rules apply. Don’t stray away from what the narrator can believably know or observe.

There is more flexibility in third person point of view. That means, there’s also more room to mess up. Make a plan. Whether you have a single or multiple viewpoints story it’s still important to give the reader a sense of whose story it is. It can’t be everyone’s story. Pick your protagonist. Once done, make sure that as much as 70% or more comes from that character’s viewpoint. Let the reader know what the main character thinks, feels and make sure the action happens around or because of them. On the other hand, if your story has a neutral narrator be sure to use action and dialogue without drifting into the characters heads.

Third Person POV

Let’s look at a writing example from third person limited / omniscient to compare with third person objective.

Dorothy woke early that morning. The alarm hadn’t sounded, and she felt tired but decided to get up anyway. Her whole body ached. How would she get through the next few weeks without him? She made herself breakfast, but it turned her stomach, and she couldn’t eat. Feeling desperate, she called her mother.
“I miss him,” she said when her mother answered.
“Of course, you do. How are you feeling today?”
“Just awful. It’s not fair. I want to die too.”

Third Person Objective Writing Samples

Dorothy woke early that morning. The alarm hadn’t sounded but she got up anyway. She moped around for at least an hour and finally made herself some breakfast. With her breakfast untouched, she called her mother.
“I miss him,” she said when her mother answered.
“Of course, you do. How are you feeling today?”
“Just awful. I ache all over. It’s not fair. I want to die too.

Although, it’s obvious from Dorothy’s actions that she is sad, the reader has no confirmation of what the character thinks or feels until she speaks with her mother. At that point, the reader gains insight through the dialogue. In third person objective, the author must stay out of the character’s head and most of all, let the reader gain insight based on the action. For more on writing dialog read 3 Ways to Improve Your Dialogue

Point of View- Riding the POV

Through The Character’s Eyes

In your stories the reader must know who is seeing the events as they happen. In first person it’s the narrator, but they can only know what’s happening around them.

Jane was sad. In the kitchen, she started telling her mother about breaking up with John.

(Unless the narrator is in the kitchen, they can’t know anything about Jane)

The example above shows how the point of view shifted away from first person to third person omniscient. Writing in first person makes it easier to stick to your character’s perspective. Still writers make mistakes. That’s where editing comes in. Edit out any POV shifts.

I knew Jane had been feeling down. I went into the kitchen to check on her. A moment later, she started telling her mother about breaking up with John.

(fixed)

The who is seeing mandate can get confusing in third person. That’s why it’s so important to have an authorial process mapped out at the start. Ultimately, you want to make sure the reader can follow any POV character shifts. In third person multiple viewpoints, some authors do this in chapters, some using parts or time periods and others use scene breaks. It really doesn’t matter when the POV shifts. What matters is that the reader doesn’t get confused.

Personally, I’m not a fan of multiple viewpoints. Yet, I’ve read many books that use the technique. Some do it well. Even harder to manage is point of view shifts in third person omniscient. The narrator knows, sees, hears and feels everything. The ability to do that might cause some writers to head hop. Now, that can get downright confusing. Know whose story it is and know who’s scene, chapter, or part it is too.

Getting into the Characters Head

This is an easy one. If you use first person peripheral, the narrator can relay his thoughts and feelings, but he can’t get into the heads of the other story characters. A classic example is The Great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald. The narrator, Nick Carraway shares his thoughts and feelings, but only speculates about what the protagonist, Jay Gatsby thinks or feels. Here is an excerpt.

And as I sat there, brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come such a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close he could hardly fail to grasp it.

Notice the narrator’s words when he speaks of Gatsby. For instance, he says Gatsby’s wonder, something the narrator observed. When it came to feelings Nick says of himself that he was brooding, that’s being in his own head. On the other hand, he says Gatsby, must have seemed. In this example, the author kept the proper perspective. The first person narrator stays in his own head.

Things get even simpler for third person objective. You can’t get into the character’s head. That’s all there is to it. Check out Hills Like White Elephants’ by Ernest Hemingway. It’s a short piece of fiction, but there is no insight into what the characters feel. From the prose we get a since of where they are and why they’re there. Nothing is explained. Whatever the reader picks up, is what the reader picks up. If done well, the reader will get the meaning as the author intended.

Point of View- Riding the POV

In my mind, third person objective leaves a lot to be desired because it’s not possible to feel close to the main character. Everything depends on the author’s intent. When you write, know how your point of view works, and you’ll get the story you desire.

Point of View & Narrative Distance

Narrative distance determines just how close the reader feels to the characters. It relates to POV because how an author shows emotional or relational distance is intwined with the limitations of the POV. In all but third person objective POV we can get right inside the character’s head, or dare I say into their bodies.

A close up: Crossing the room, his heart pounding, his hands shaking, he smiled and then stood next to her.
Let’s move out a bit: He cautiously crossed the room, feeling eager to stand next to her.
Let’s move out more: He crossed the room to stand next to her.

Zooming in or out can vary throughout the story. However, distance shifts shouldn’t happen haphazardly. If your story has been very impersonal and then suddenly without warning or progression to that point, you shift the distance, it will upset your readers. The intimacy or lack of it should feel natural and work with the type of story you want to tell. Sometimes, authors use present tense to bring the reader close to the story. A few books that used this strategy are The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and Normal People by Sally Rooney.

There you have it. POV is a multi-leveled thing. Ultimately, you need a plan that answers the four point of view questions we discussed in this post. Once done, ride the POV from start to finish.

August 5 2021

10 Writing Style Rules Every Writer Should Know

Aspiring Writer, On Writing, Writing Style

This post is the first in a series using John Delvin’s book How to Speak and Write Correctly. Over the course of many posts, I will discuss various aspects of writing beginning with the Ten Commandments of Style. For convenience, I refer to Delvin’s list as 10 Writing Style Rules Every Writer Should Know.

As with most skills, it’s essential to learn the rules. Perfectly understanding the rules makes it easier to break them. In this way, your work becomes authentic and more interesting.

I do wish Delvin’s rules had a more positive spin. As they are, we get a list of Don’ts. Even so, know the rules. Although these rules consistently apply to most non-fiction, when it comes to fiction, it is essential to know how to break them.

1. Do not use foreign words.

The exception to this rule is, limit foreign words or phrases to those commonly used in English. Whatever you choose to do, remember if you use foreign words, use them with purpose to enhance the narrative. For clarity, where appropriate, follow foreign phrases with a translation. When used correctly, for the right story, foreign words can improve your work.

2. Do not use a long word when a short one will serve your purpose.

Fire is much better than conflagration. One of the common ways writers break this rule is by using facilitate instead of ‘ease’ or ‘use’.

The police facilitate their safety with protective weapons.

Much clearer to write:

The police use weapons to protect themselves.

Bigger or more complex words are not necessarily better. Clarity is the goal. In every scenario, know how to choose the best synonyms and let clarity be your guide to less obscure or vague words.

3. Do not use technical words.

Avoid technical words or those understood only by specialists in their respective lines, except when you are writing especially for such people. Just don’t do it.

4. Do not use slang.

Slang is not all bad. Especially when used in dialog or for first person POV to help create the mood and tone you want. When you match the narrative tone to the dialog, it sounds very natural.

Examples:

I went on out the door, knowing it was time to bail on the whole damn project. Finding another gig wasn’t gonna be easy and I wanted to beat the other Preppers to the work office. As far as I knew, wasn’t going to be new jobs for Preppers in a long time.

I saw Henry on my way out. “Okay, I gotta bail,” I told him. “But we’re gonna meet up later, right?” I said, trying to sound real natural. If he couldn’t see it was over, I wasn’t giving him a heads up. He was a better Prepper.

5. Do not use provincialisms

Avoid provincialisms such as “I guess” for “I think”; “I reckon” for “I know,” etc. This advice is good for most non-fiction writing. Yet, if you’re writing a provincial novel or historical fiction do your best to add a delicate balance of provincialism to capture the environment, the places and any necessary aspect of the time to make your writing feel real.

Careful use of provincialisms can give the reader the feeling of being immersed into a different time and place. This is especially important when you create your own world as in some fantasy and science fiction novels.

6. Do not in writing prose, use poetical or antiquated words

Some example words: “lore, e’er, morn, yea, nay, verily, peradventure.” The same exceptions apply as in rule 5.

7. A Writing Style Rule to Break

Do not use trite and hackneyed words and expressions

Some example words: “on the job,” “up and in”; “down and out.”

Hackneyed words and expressions are sometimes the backbone of making characters real. Use them sparingly to lend a sense of authenticity to your characters.

“Well, I was on the job for pert near twenty years before the machines came.”

The hackneyed express ‘pert near’ makes the dialog sound more real.

8. Do not use newspaper words which have not established a place in the language as “to bugle”; “to suicide,” etc.

Yeah, don’t.

9. Break This Writing Style Rule With Care

Do not use ungrammatical words and forms

Ungrammatical words and forms such as, “I ain’t;” “he don’t.” are good in dialog. If important to the first person POV, they might work there too. Mark Twain certainly didn’t take this rule seriously and he ain’t no fool. Of all the 10 writing style rules, this is the one I break most often.

10. Do not use ambiguous words or phrases

Example of ambiguity: ”He showed me all about the house.”

This might be a perfect statement for one of your characters to make when it fits. Such variations in dialog should reflect time-period, social economic status, regional dialects and education.

If you do decide to use ambiguous words or phrases, use the context to make the meaning clear for the reader. Who knows, using ambiguity as a part of your writing style may lend authenticity to your characters.

These writing style rules represent guidelines for improving your writing style. I suggest, the number one rule is to know the rules. Obey them, unless you have reason to break them.

If or when you break a rule, do it deliberately to achieve the desired effect. Remember, there are all kinds of books on writing with varying opinions. For a list of my favorite books on writing see 7 Must Read Books On Writing.

March 5 2021

Run-On Sentences Vs Long Sentences

Aspiring Writer, Naughty Words, Writing Style

A search for long sentences in literature led me to write this post on long vs run-on sentences. Unfortunately, I found many sites, if not educational sites, made no distinction between the two types of sentences. Sadly, several sites listed long sentences written by many of history’s most cherished authors as run-on sentences. Have a look at some of the long sentences in literature. Did you notice? Interestingly, they are not run-on sentences.

At any rate, before writing this post, I wanted to check my assumptions. In order to do it, I asked several friends, and a few strangers to define “run-on sentence”. I’m sad to report that almost 100% thought that long sentences were run-on sentences or as one person put it, “it’s when a sentence just goes on and on and on.” Nope, that’s not it at all.

How Long are Run-on Sentences?

In fact, length has nothing to do with it. Let’s look let’s learn why. The previous sentence is a run-on sentence. First, we’ll define run-on sentence. Once that’s done, the difference between long and run-on sentences will become easier to grasp. Now, let’s look and let’s learn why.

What are Run-on Sentences?

A run-on sentence has two or more independent clauses without any punctuation. (i.e. Clause one clause two or Let’s look let’s learn why). Simple right?

Here’s an example:

Two independent unpunctuated clauses:

Run-on: The batter hit the ball with all his might he got a home run.

Two clauses punctuated with a period:

Fixed: The batter hit the ball with all his might. He got a home run.

Remember, you can’t use a comma to fix a run-on sentence. If you do, you’ll create a comma splice. That’s when a comma separates two independent clauses. To learn more about comma splices read comma splice vs run-on sentences.

Four possible fixes:

1. Use a period

Run-on: You’re the fastest runner you’re not allowed to win

Fixed: You’re the fastest runner. You’re not allowed to win.

2. Use semi-colon

Run-on: You’re the fastest runner you’re not allowed to win.

Fixed: You’re the fastest runner; you’re not allowed to win.

3. Use a coordinating conjunction (e.g. and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet) with a comma

Run-on: You’re the fastest runner you’re not allowed to win.

Fixed: You’re the fastest runner, but you’re not allowed to win.

4. Use a subordinating conjunction (e.g. after, although, as, because, before, even if, if, once, so that, though, unless, until, when, whereas, while) and a comma

Run-on: You’re the fastest runner you’re not allowed to win.

Fixed: Although you’re the fastest runner, you’re not allowed to win.

That’s all there is to it. Again, run-ons have two or more independent clauses without any punctuation. From now on, you can use one of the four fixes to turn run-on sentences in to properly punctuated independent clauses. Finally, a note of caution before we move on, longer sentences are more likely to have run-ons or comma splices. For more on writing great sentences see Comma Splice vs Run-on Sentences.

Additionally, if you wish, refer to Purdue’s Online Writing Lab to clarify any issues you have with English grammar.

February 18 2021

Long Sentences in Literature

Aspiring Writer, Writing Style

We have all read long sentences. Good writers know how to create sentences of any length, that’s why a good stories have sentences of varying length. Some even have incredibly long ones.

Remember…

Long sentences are wonderful. I like them. Short sentences please me too. It’s important to note, long sentences are not bad and short sentences are not better. On the other hand, short sentences are not bad and long sentences are not better. We all understand, some writers might forge long sentences for the sake of proving an ability to craft those types of sentences, thus using all the wit contained in the brain, combined with samples of a large lexicon, such wordsmiths are not always capable of making those tedious sentences enjoyable. Short is good.

A Sample of Long Sentences

For the sake of this post let’s say only long sentences are good, to get more familiar with how long sentences work, consider reading How to Write Great Sentences.

67 Words – The Chosen by Chaim Potok (1967)

The caps tapped against the stone of the steps, then against the stone of the top landing in front of the double door -and I remembered the old man I often saw walking along Lee Avenue, moving carefully through the busy street and tapping, tapping, his metal-capped cane, which served him for eyes he had lost in a First World War trench doing a German Gas attack.

105 Words – Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe (1719)

I was born in the year 1632, in the city of York, of a good family, though not of that country, my father being a foreigner of Bremen, who settled first at Hull. He got a good estate by merchandise, and leaving off his trade, lived afterwards at York, from whence he had married my mother, whose relations were named Robinson, a very good family in that country, and from whom I was called Robinson Kreutznaer; but, by the usual corruption of words in England, we are now called—nay we call ourselves and write our name—Crusoe; and so my companions always called me.

107 Words – Stuart Little by E.B. White (1945)

In the loveliest town of all, where the houses were white and high and the elms trees were green and higher than the houses, where the front yards were wide and pleasant and the back yards were bushy and worth finding out about, where the streets sloped down to the stream and the stream flowed quietly under the bridge, where the lawns ended in orchards and the orchards ended in fields and the fields ended in pastures and the pastures climbed the hill and disappeared over the top toward the wonderful wide sky, in this loveliest of all towns Stuart stopped to get a drink of sarsaparilla.

Descriptions of Life

116 Words – Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf (1925)

It was not to them (not to Hugh, or Richard, or even to devoted Miss Brush) the liberator of the pent egotism, which is a strong martial woman, well nourished, well descended, of direct impulses, downright feelings, and little introspective power (broad and simple–why could not every one be broad and simple? she asked) feels rise within her, once youth is past, and must eject upon some object–it may be Emigration, it may be Emancipation; but whatever it be, this object round which the essence of her soul is daily secreted, becomes inevitably prismatic, lustrous, half looking glass, half precious stone; now carefully hidden in case people should sneer at it; now proudly displayed.

118 Words – That Evening Sun by William Faulkner (1931)

The streets are paved now, and the telephone and electric companies are cutting down more and more of the shade trees–the water oaks, the maples and locusts and elms–to make room for iron poles bearing clusters of bloated and ghostly and bloodless grapes, and we have a city laundry which makes the rounds on Monday morning, gathering the bundles of clothes into bright-colored, specially-made motor cars: the soiled wearing of a whole week now flees apparitionlike behind alert and irritable electric horns, with a long diminishing noise of rubber and asphalt like tearing silk, and even the Negro women who still take in white people’s washing after the old custom, fetch and deliver it in automobiles.

Are These Run-on or Long Sentences?

119 Words – A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (1859)

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

123 Words – Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (1877)

It is true that Alexei Alexandrovich vaguely sensed the levity and erroneousness of this notion of his faith, and he knew that when, without any thought that his forgiveness was the effect of a higher power, he had given himself to his spontaneous feeling, he had experienced greater happiness than when he thought every minute, as he did now, that Christ lived in his soul, and that by signing papers he was fulfilling His will, but it was necessary for him to think that way, it was so necessary for him in his humiliation to possess at least an invented loftiness from which he, despised by everyone, could despise others, that he clung to his imaginary salvation as if it were salvation indeed.

Perfectly Formed Long Sentences

127 Words – The Jazz Age by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1922)

Sometimes, though, there is a ghostly rumble among the drums, an asthmatic whisper in the trombones that swings me back into the early twenties when we drank wood alcohol and every day in every way grew better and better, and there was a first abortive shortening of the skirts, and girls all looked alike in sweater dresses, and people you didn’t want to know said ‘Yes, we have no bananas’, and it seemed only a question of a few years before the older people would step aside and let the world be run by those who saw things as they were and it all seems rosy and romantic to us who were young then, because we will never feel quite so intensely about our surroundings any more.

128 Words – Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe (1719)

He told me it was men of desperate fortunes on one hand, or of aspiring, superior fortunes on the other, who went abroad upon adventures, to rise by enterprise, and make themselves famous in undertakings of a nature out of the common road; that these things were all either too far above me or too far below me; that mine was the middle state, or what might be called the upper station of low life, which he had found, by long experience, was the best state in the world, the most suited to human happiness, not exposed to the miseries and hardships, the labour and sufferings of the mechanic part of mankind, and not embarrassed with the pride, luxury, ambition, and envy of the upper part of mankind.

Unbelievably Long Sentences

180 Words – Emma by Ane Austen (1815)

The charming Augusta Hawkins, in addition to all the usual advantages of perfect beauty and merit, was in possession of an independent fortune, of so many thousands as would always be called ten; a point of some dignity, as well as some convenience: the story told well; he had not thrown himself away — he had gained a woman of ten thousand pounds, or thereabouts; and he had gained her with such delightful rapidity — the first hour of introduction had been so very soon followed by distinguishing notice; the history which he had to give Mrs. Cole of the rise and progress of the affair was so glorious — the steps so quick, from the accidental rencontre, to the dinner at Mr. Green’s, and the party at Mrs. Brown’s — smiles and blushes rising in importance — with consciousness and agitation richly scattered — the lady had been so easily impressed — so sweetly disposed — had in short, to use a most intelligible phrase, been so very ready to have him, that vanity and prudence were equally contented.

What? Bordering on Confusion

216 Words – Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens (1841)

There he sat, watching his wife as she decorated the room with flowers for the greater honour of Dolly and Joseph Willet, who had gone out walking, and for whom the tea-kettle had been singing gaily on the hob full twenty minutes, chirping as never kettle chirped before; for whom the best service of real undoubted china, patterned with divers round-faced mandarins holding up broad umbrellas, was now displayed in all its glory; to tempt whose appetites a clear, transparent, juicy ham, garnished with cool green lettuce-leaves and fragrant cucumber, reposed upon a shady table, covered with a snow-white cloth; for whose delight, preserves and jams, crisp cakes and other pastry, short to eat, with cunning twists, and cottage loaves, and rolls of bread both white and brown, were all set forth in rich profusion; in whose youth Mrs V. herself had grown quite young, and stood there in a gown of red and white: symmetrical in figure, buxom in bodice, ruddy in cheek and lip, faultless in ankle, laughing in face and mood, in all respects delicious to behold—there sat the locksmith among all and every these delights, the sun that shone upon them all: the centre of the system: the source of light, heat, life, and frank enjoyment in the bright household world.

280 Words – The House Of The Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne (1851)

The purity of his judicial character, while on the bench; the faithfulness of his public service in subsequent capacities; his devotedness to his party, and the rigid consistency with which he had adhered to its principles, or, at all events, kept pace with its organized movements; his remarkable zeal as president of a Bible society; his unimpeachable integrity as treasurer of a widow’s and orphan’s fund; his benefits to horticulture, by producing two much-esteemed varieties of the pear, and to agriculture, through the agency of the famous Pyncheon-bull; the cleanliness of his moral deportment, for a great many years past; the severity with which he had frowned upon, and finally cast off, an expensive and dissipated son, delaying forgiveness until within the final quarter of an hour of the young man’s life; his prayers at morning and eventide, and graces at meal-time; his efforts in furtherance of the temperance cause; his confining himself, since the last attack of the gout, to five diurnal glasses of old sherry wine; the snowy whiteness of his linen, the polish of his boots, the handsomeness of his gold-headed cane, the square and roomy fashion of his coat, and the fineness of its material, and, in general, the studied propriety of his dress and equipment; the scrupulousness with which he paid public notice, in the street, by a bow, a lifting of the hat, a nod, or a motion of the hand, to all and sundry his acquaintances, rich or poor; the smile of broad benevolence wherewith he made it a point to gladden the whole world;–what room could possibly be found for darker traits, in a portrait made up of lineaments like these?

More Recent Long Sentences

310 Words – A Letter From Birmingham Jail by Martin Luther King (1963)

But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old daughter why she can’t go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?; when you take a cross-country drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading white and colored; when your first name becomes nigger, your middle name becomes boy (however old you are) and your last name becomes John, and your wife and mother are never given the respected title Mrs.; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you go forever fighting a degenerating sense of nobodiness–then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait.

From Fiction…

318 Words – Native Son by Richard Wright (1940)

It sounded suddenly directly above his head and when he looked it was not there but went on tolling and with each passing moment he felt an urgent need to run and hide as though the bell were sounding a warning and he stood on a street corner in a red glare of light like that which came from the furnace and he had a big package in his arms so wet and slippery and heavy that he could scarcely hold onto it and he wanted to know what was in the package and he stopped near an alley corner and unwrapped in and the paper fell away and he saw—it was his own head—his own head lying with black face and half-closed eyes and lips parted with white teeth showing and hair wet with blood and the red glare grew brighter like light shining down from a red moon and red stars on a hot summer night and he was sweating and breathless from running and the bell clanged so loud that he could hear the iron tongue clapping against the metal sides each time it swung to and fro and he was running over a street paved with black coal and his shoes kicked tiny lumps rattling against tin cans and he knew that very soon he had to find some place to hide but there was no place and in front of him white people were coming to ask about the head from which the newspapers had fallen and which was now slippery with blood in his naked hands and he gave up and stood in the middle of the street in the red darkness and cursed the booming bell and the white people and felt that he did not give a damn what happened to him and when the people closed in he hurled the bloody head squarely into their faces dongdongdong….

Do You Like Long Sentences?

I’m not a huge fan of excessively long sentences, but I love medium, somewhat long sentences. The most important thing to remember is that a long sentence should NOT be a run-on sentence.